I almost regret making this list. Researching my top 10 guilty pleasures forced me to take a long hard look in the mirror. I had to ask myself a few question: Why have I seen these movies, Why have I seen them so many times, How did I have time for all of them? Am I gay? For the record, I do NOT consider any of these good movies. Regardless, when they’re on TV, I must watch. Perhaps I should’ve taken advantage of late night HBO by watching more porn instead of Like Mike. Still, I enjoy these movies. Hopefully you’ll have fun going through this list. Maybe you’ll find one you like too. More likely, you’ll just question my taste.
10. FEVER PITCH (2005)
I hate baseball. Even more so, I hate Boston Red Sox baseball. Pssht, doesn’t matter. This movie is wicked cute dude. The chemistry between Barrymore and Fallon is explosive! Haha not really. I guess I just find Jimmy Fallon charming and funny. Plus, it’s cool that they re-wrote to script to adjust for the Red Sox winning the World Series. Whatever it is, I’ve seen Fever Pitch more times than I care to admit.
9. Airborne (1993)
The best movie ever made about rollerblading in Cincinnati. I read that in an Imdb review and it made me laugh. Airborne is a slice of life film following high school hunk, Mitchell Goosen. A cool dude who loves extreme sports. Mitchell’s life is turned upside down when his parents abandon him (by moving to Australia and not inviting him) and force him to move out of rollerblade friendly, Los Angeles and in with his aunt and uncle in shit town Cincinnati. Kind of like a reverse Fresh Prince. And need I say, hilarity ensues. Mitchell spends the rest of the time using his sweet LA skillz to woo chicks, and fight hockey bullies. Seth Green plays his cousin!
8. VEGAS VACATION (1997)
7. ACCEPTED (2006)
When I think about the worst movie I’ve ever seen, I think Accepted. I’m not saying that it is the worst movie I’ve seen, it’s just the first one I think of. I DO believe that it’s the most flawed movie ever made. During my first viewing of this, not a moment went by without me throwing my head back and scoffing. First of all, this movie apparently takes place in a universe where community college doesn’t exist. Secondly, a kid creates a college out of thin air (the same kid who was too dumb to get into any college anywhere)! Still too believable? He renovates an entire building for students to attend class and he does it in what seems to be one afternoon. His dad also hand him a tuition check for $10,000 instead of giving to the school! Which doesn’t exist! That being said, this movie is quite tight.
6. MAJOR LEAGUE: BACK TO THE MINORS (1998)
I bet most people don’t even know this movie was made. Well those people need to watch more USA Network on Saturday afternoons. The gang is back at it again…minus all the main characters from the first two movies. What I probably like most about this movie is its originality. A coach takes a ragtag group of guys and turns them into a team. And there’s Taka Tanaka, the feisty Japanese baseball player turned, MLB player, turned miniature golf guru, turned minor league baseball player.
5. LIKE MIKE (2002)
I made a vow to see every movie Bow Wow does after I saw Like Mike. “What about Lottery Ticket Matt? I bet you didn’t see the straight to DVD black comedy Bow Wow starred in”. HAHA WRONG! I saw that shit and it was fucking great. Back to Like Mike, Bow Wow murders it. He lives every young boy’s dream of playing in the NBA and CGI dunking over fools. Once more, Bow Wow finds time to provide snarky commentary to grown men who would literally kill him if they accidently ran into him on the court. if you’re a Crispin Glover fan, he’s in this so I hope you catch up on his full body of work.
4. SHE’S OUT OF MY LEAGUE (2010)
She’s out of My League was the inspiration for this list. It almost pains me to put it on here because part of me considers it a quality movie. A better part of me knows this movie is completely cookie cutter. A really hot girl falls for the quirky guy who we are supposed to believe is ugly but in reality he’s sort of hot…classic rom-com formula. If you do watch this movie, enjoy the smoking hot lead actress and the hilarious best friend, Stainer.
3. CON AIR (1997)
Everyone should be familiar with this one. Nothing beats a Nic Cage movie. Except a Nic Cage movie where he wears a mullet and speaks with a southern accent (terribly). Poor Cameron Poe, he goes to jail for protecting his girlfriend from getting raped and fighting off like four guys by himself. WTF! Who goes to jail for that!? For like a bunch of years! The rest of the movie is just an action packed high octane thrill ride. Thank God the government decides to transport some of the world’s most deadly criminals all at once on an airplane. Don’t worry, they put like two guards on the plane, one of which is a 90 pound chick. Put the bunny down!
2. TEEN WOLF (1985)
Michael J. Fox at his finest. Before he was an incestuous time traveler he was teen wolf. Once you overlook the plot holes, this is a fantastic film. Sooo Scott Howard was just your average teen, until one day he finds out that he has the ability to turn into a werewolf any time he wants. This trait was passed down from his father who tried to hide it from him. Scary right? Nope. He’s a friendly werewolf who has total control of himself. Basically, it just gives him the ability to kick ass at basketball and score with chicks. Somehow it also lands him the lead role in the school play. Unfortunately, this movie spawned the MTV spinoff…gross.
1. ROAD HOUSE (1989)
Bouncer extraordinaire, Dalton gets hired to clean up The Double Deuce. Seemingly the worst bar in the world. At the Double Deuce, if they go one night without a murder they consider that a successful night. I’m not joking, that’s actually mentioned in the movie. Just soak in some quotes from this Patrick Swayze masterpiece:
“Pain don't hurt."
“I used to fuck guys like you in prison.”
“I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead.”
Jimmy: Prepare to die.
Dalton: You are such an asshole.
“Whaddaya say we get nipple to nipple?”
“You know, I heard you had balls big enough to come in a dump truck, but you don't look like much to me.”
“Take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he'll drop like a stone.”
ALONG CAME POLLY (2004)
GOOD BURGER (1997)
SWEET HOME ALABAMA (2002)
Whether you agree, disagree, or want to suggest a top ten list for me to write…Leave a comment.